#too much insanity and confidence

[neptunezo]

This came to me in a sudden spark of energy while going to the bathroom and seeing the sexiest rwrb edit ives ever seen.

BUTTTT Red White and Royal Blue as jayroy of course because who fits it better than them? Wealthy douche bags who are only wealthy because of their family and are only douchebags around each other due to awful sexual tension? Obviously Jayroy.

Jason is of course is His Royal “Hardness” Prince Henry. Because let’s sit here and talk. He SOOOOO would have a dog named David because Bowie is “too on the nose.” The Waynes are practically Gotham royalty anyways. Steph or Cass would OBVIOUSLY be Bea. Jason liking Roy first but hiding it and choosing to not act on it because 1) Roy is the biggest girl lover he knows and 2) he just cant come out, not yet. PLUS Henry is such a big literature nerd, which sounds kinda familiar.

Roy almost embodies the energy of Alex in so many ways. Stubborn? Check. Attractive? ABSOLUTELY CHECK. In love with the Prince but has no idea because he’s liked so many girls that liking guys never even crossed his mind? Tripple Check. Like Alex, he would absolutely be pissed that Jason is taller than him. AND Alex is the main character of the story and in my world Roy is always the main character. Roy is such a family man (when it’s family he likes, sorry ollie) and will do anything for them. Sounds so familiar to Alex. He may do some stupid things and may not realize till later but he absolutely makes up for it, and like Alex, he shows he’s support but not a “sidekick” to Jason (because hes not and people who ship Jayroy and like that dynamic need to go and read an Arsenal comic for once)

Cake scene? Would absolutely happen between jayroy and no one can tell me it wouldn’t. Hospital closet scene? Already happened, TWICE!! The “I stormed a castle to tell you I love you knowing you wont say it back” “My life is the crown and yours is politics and I will not trade one prison for another.” IS TOO ACCURATE BETWEEN THEM!!!

And for my sanity, Shaan and Zahra is absolutely positively Birdflash. case closed.

Anyways, see my vision!!! I might just write it because it’s summer which means just me, my laptop, and the fics I’ve been writing. Maybe I start it and scrap my other Jayroy ones that have been going absolutely nowhere and just sitting in my unfinished.

[skitskatdacat63]

Every time I read Fernando cursing in fic, I can only think about this clip and then my brain short-circuits

[meltedmush]

how long does it take you to draw your sketches/doodles? also do you have any tips to draw faster? 🙇‍♀️

I generally take 30 - 60 minutes a sketch,,,, but honestly really depends on how detailed it is.

Like a Chibi will be done in 20 - 25 minutes (Counting in the extra time I spend on minute details like a perfectionist 😭)

I for some reason really like spending egregious amounts of time on random objects too??? Unless it’s the in the background, I’ll spend 40 minutes refining it.

Random characters that are fully colored and rendered with take like 80 minutes.

The comics take usually take an hour or two per page. (If I decide to cross hatch it, my entire day will be gone with 4 pages… so I’ve been trying to find shortcuts. But not without sacrificing the quality for time lol)

I don’t think there’s any trick or magic to drawing faster. It’s really about weaponizing your artistic knowledge, and finding what’s comfortable or convenient for you!

There was a period of time where I would spend 11 or 12 hours on an illustration, and it wASS UGLYYYYY. (Some of these artworks are still available on my tumblr,,, but it’s SO LONG AGO, AND IT WAS MY 1ST OR 2ND YEAR GETTING INTO DIGITAL ART)

Overtime I learned what worked best for me, and practiced till I felt more comfortable with what I was drawing. Eventually I managed to shorten the time to 4 hours or less! Ambition was my biggest enemy but at the same time my biggest motivator. (And it still is LMFAO) 😭

EDIT (bit more to my way too long tangent): ALSO??? BRO DON’T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR MESSY SKETCH AS LINEART OR DRAW ON TOP OF IT. I’VE DONE IT FOR YEARS NOW AND IT ADDS SUCH A GOOD EXTRA BIT OF TEXTURE,, AT THIS POINT I DON’T EVEN USE LINE-ART ANY MORE UNLESS IT’S A COMMISSION,, (IT’LL ADD LIKE AN 2-4 HOURS TO MY WORK)

[starscelly]

i do not animate but i think just for My enrichment i would want to do a little animated gif of miro doing this very distinct movement that he Always does at the beginning ish of interviews where he goes: hand on forehead -> hand dragged down passed eye -> hand on back of neck -> hand flick out and pointing/gesturing aimlessly. meaningless to all but Me

[another-miraculous-ladyblog]

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON LUKA AS A CHARACTER AFTER WISHMAKER AND I’M GONNA DUMP THEM HERE

Luka is such a cool character and he has been a rock for marinette when things got rough for her, but beyond just being a really good and supportive friend I’ve gotta say that if anyone was going to find out both ladybug and chat noir’s identities, luka was definitely the best person for the job. like Marinette better be happy she was basically stuck giving that boy the miraculous of the snake because he might actually be the only one who can handle that level of responsibility.

First of all, he’s ridiculously level-headed until it’s his friends or family who are threatened. I don’t think he’d be akumatized unless someone came directly after his family or friends instead of him- the dude’s ridiculously patient and even-keeled, and as we know from Silencer, a gentle soul. Still though, this guy handles the information of who ladybug and chat noir are ridiculously well.

Like ignoring the weight of the responsibility for a second, just look at how hard it’s got to be to keep his mouth shut on a frustration level- he’s got so much on his plate already and now he’s got to watch these two knuckleheads be the level of oblivious and awkward that they are as civilians knowing full well how close they are as superheroes and how in love both of them are with each other (without knowing it) with a patient smile? The frustration we feel from watching the love square? This boy is living it.

Plus we know from Truth just how important that honesty is to Luka- he values it so so highly and holds himself to such a high standard, but when ladybug asks him point blank to his face whether or not he found out their identities, he lies without hesitation. He literally says that they were never hit (side note: why would he have used second chance then? idk ladybug didn’t ask so she probably assumed something else went wrong or they got stuck since he did seem to let her know that they had used multiple chances so whatever).

He lied to this girl who he cares about so much and compromised his own principles so soon after them being emphasized in Truth without questioning it because he

1. obviously cares about marinette/ladybug and chat noir/adrien and wants to protect them but also

2. because he understands that the responsibility that has been given to him as Viperion has to come before his own principles for the greater good.

He takes his hero-ing seriously, which is what you need from someone who’s going to be given the ability to play with time and potentially be your last resort if everything else fails. He’s known this, but I think after having that responsibility really play out in this episode at the expense of his own principles, he probably understands Marinette and the pressure she was facing and the weight that comes with being a miraculous holder even better than before. He probably went home and rethought everything, especially what happened in Truth with Marinette.

And speaking of the RESPONSIBILITY? All that while trying to not get akumatized and not hint EVEN TO LADYBUG/MARINETTE HERSELF (his friend and the guardian who trusted him with that miraculous) that he knows her identity or chat noir’s? And not hint that they really know each other in real life? And not slip at all even though he hangs out with both of them as civilians all the time?

Like he’s just gonna sit on that information and that responsibility of being the only person in Paris who knows both of their identities and not physically implode from the stress or tell anyone? Knowing that if anyone finds out he will become Shadow Moth’s number 1 target? But he won’t jeopardize his friends by even letting marinette know that he knows so he can talk to someone about it? Like I know he isn’t getting paid but someone get this boy a raise 😭

[dearmahiru-archive]

— together in death; dearmahiru's shinjū theory

tw: this post revolves around the discussion of group suicide and a toxic relationship

Before I Love You had released, I proposed Mahiru attempted to commit a lover's suicide with her boyfriend. It's hopelessly outdated (and terribly formatted) but, given we've recieved many confirmations about Mahiru's story, I wanted to try rewriting the theory with the new information. For reference here is the old post.

Yamanaka: ❝ When we designed the characters and their sins, we tried to design them in a way that is open for interpretation depending on how each viewer feels, and encourage differences in opinions. For example, some sins may be legally wrong, or something that you can’t forgive emotionally, and some may be interpreted differently due to cultural differences and different upbringings. So we encourage people from all walks of life to participate, to increase the diversity and depth in the results. ❞

Understandably, this post will paint Mahiru in an overtly sympathetic light given my bias towards her. However, I'm disinterested in rehashing the same "Mahiru is a bad person" points when everyone is aware of her flaws. I acknowledge proposing this theory would seem like an attempt to absolve Mahiru of guilt but that's not my intention. Like every character, Mahiru is morally gray and whether the audience finds her forgivable is up to them.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

01. Setting The Scene

This particular scene in I Love You is extremely important: namely, it's the location of her victim's death.

If we look at Mahiru's incarnation records, her victim died in Aokigahara, Japan's infamous suicide forest. This makes sense given he had died by hanging.

At least since the 1960s, Aokigahara has become associated with suicide, eventually becoming known in English by the nickname "Suicide Forest" and gaining a reputation as one of the world's most-used suicide sites.

Adding onto this, we know Mahiru went with her boyfriend to Aokigahara. First, ofcourse, the two are seen walking through a literal forest. Second, in Mahiru's Undercover memories, the sleeves perfectly align with the clothes Mahiru and her boyfriend wear. There's no other day where these sleeves align—trust me, I checked.

Q. Can you drive a car? Mahiru: "I have a drivers license. But I'm only a 'paper driver.'"

A paper driver is someone who's license is only 'paper' because they don't use it. Aokigara is a two-hour drive away from Tokyo which is where Mahiru lives. If she doesn't drive then this might mean it was her boyfriend who drove them to Aokigahara.

So to recap, Mahiru and her boyfriend went to a suicide forest together. This does beg the question though: why did Mahiru come along? If she knew her boyfriend was suicidal then wouldn't she try consoling him? Unless, ofcourse, Mahiru also wanted to die.

02. Love Is Mine

When you peek into Mahiru's symbolism you'll notice one reoccurring theme: clinging onto someone until you both suffocate.

Beginning with this shot of Mahiru and her victim, she's depicted as the literal noose tied around her boyfriend's neck. However, as many have noted, it can also be interpreted as her comforting him. As opposed Haruka who's straddling ontop of his victim, Mahiru's boyfriend is laying on her lap while she gazes into his eyes. Although violent, it's a distinctly intimate scene.

Personally, I'm partial to the name theory which suggests each prisoner's name reflects something about their crime. I noted the meaning behind Mahiru's name here but I'll regurgitate it. Mahiru's name means "Midday" which fits along her description:

A prisoner who is like the sun, always chatting and laughing.

So, with the theory in mind, Mahiru's crime relates to her eternal sunny presence.

Along with this, each prisoner has the kanji for "wood" in their name and removing that kanji reflects an aspect of their crime. (For instance, Haruka (嬰) would be "baby" or "necklace" and Yuno (堅) would be "strong" or "resolute" like her real personality).

With out the wood kanji, Mahiru's name is 隹 which means means "bird," obviously relating to how Mahiru and her boyfriend are both bluebirds suffocating within their small birdcage. Their relationship was doomed from the beginning—as bluebirds are wild animals and therefore cannot survive in cages. It was inevitable one of them would've become stressed out and died. Put a pin in the birdcage symbolism since we'll came back to that.

Moving on, in her first voice drama, Mahiru reveals how her victim died:

Es: "I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?" Mahiru: "You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!" Es: [pauses] Mahiru: "I just… I was… just being myself."

(honestly really frustrating how people still theorize mahiru/her boyfriend cheated when she expressed multiple times that wasn't the case. all of the victims apart from kotoko's were innocent people and mahiru "loving my bf is my defining personality trait" shiina isn't about to tap someone's elses ass. if anything this is a demonstration she was only stressed out about her partner leaving her but whatever i digress)

And then later on these exchanges happen:

Es: It was your love which killed someone, right? Despite that, will you still try to love another person?  Mahiru: [thinks] Actually, I was hoping you could tell me the answer to that, prison guard… If what I did was unforgivable.

Mahiru: Ah, this isn’t good. Be careful, okay? Um… Um… If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just—kidding?  

So already, this theme of suffocation has been reinforced multiple times. Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to a suicide forest, she locks hands with him, she's symbolised as a noose hanging him, she's stuck in a birdcage with him, and it's her sunny disposition, her love for him which kills him.

Which forms the foundation for this theory: following her theme of clinging until suffocation, Mahiru tried to die alongside her boyfriend to forever stay with him.

Q. What is the ultimate form of Love?Mahiru: Being always together

Mahiru: My first shrine visit of the year was together with him. Obviously I know what I want to wish for. Please let us stay together like this forever. Please don’t let anyone else get in our way

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together! [Mahiru is outright singing, "Lets stay close together for so long we could die from the warmth.]

If you don't hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart [Otherwise, "If you don't hold me close then I won't feel loved by you."

Mahiru: "Ehehe...I love, love, LOVE YOU!! Don't ever let me go, ok!"

The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here

Which leads us to our third point: oh goodness Mahiru's relationship was a hot mess.

03. Love Is (Un)Dead

Okay, so we've established a lot but there's one thing missing: Is Mahiru herself suicidal?

Mahiru: It’s because I've… decided that I’m going to live for the sake of love

Mahiru: Hmm. If you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, then there’s no point in living—to be honest. [laughs] 

Mahiru: Being in love is… If there was no such thing as love, then my life would be so bland. So, if you say that I won’t be allowed it anymore, then there’s no point in me living. 

An extremely unfortunate yes! Similar to how Shidou wishes to die because of his love, Mahiru only lives for the sake of love. (Infact, coasting off this shinju theory, I'd even say that both Shidou and Mahiru wanted to die for the sake of meeting their loved ones again.)

One specific detail I'd like to highlight are Mahiru's shoes.

In Japan there is a custom for people to take off their shoes before entering their homes, as to not track dirt into their houses. As a result of this line of thinking there is also a custom where people take off their shoes before they enter the afterlife as not to track dirt and such into their ethereal destination. Abandoned pairs of shoes in Japanese media have become symbolic of suicides, and they are also common in non-Japanese media.

This specific symbolism is seen an additional time with Mahiru and Kazui's victims in Undercover and Mu in It's Not My Fault, both of which are related to suicide.

In Mahiru first MV, there's always a shot where we can explicitly see her shoes. They're on in the beginning, off when she confesses to her boyfriend and they begin dating, and on again after something happened to her boyfriend.

I believe this may represent she was suicidal during the relationship. Apart from this, there's lots of little details which paint the picture she was unhappy with her life and dating her boyfriend.

When being interviewed, she tends to talk a lot, and she seems to have developed some special feelings for the prison guard, and sometimes also shows a lonely, vacant expression in contrast to her normally bright and cheerful self. [These "special feelings" for Es aren't necessarily romantic. Atleast, it's "love" in the same way Mahiru thinks of a murder prison as a romantic getaway. It's moreso developes a connection with Es because they uniquely give her attention and she finds their hardwork admirable. She finds them kind and, "if youre kind to me I'm going to start relying on you, thanks!"]

"Hello! I’m Shiina Mahiru, 22 years old! I may be incompetent, but it’s a pleasure meeting you!"

Mahiru: Right…… so you too, Mu-chan…Hmm, I guess it’s because of the environment here. Sometimes your mental state has an impact. Mu: …You’re the same, then? …that it’s gone…… Mahiru: …it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time~

I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness I can't stop feeling like there's something missing

We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you'll get angry soon

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad

This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can't come true It's all because of love

Don’t lose focus even when exercising! The pastel tones mean not only do you look ready to go but also give off a cute oneesan appeal. Even for a rougher style of dress you can’t be careless! Painted toenails and a necklace show some attention to detail to make for a sexy casual style. Just because it’s outdoors doesn’t mean you can relax too much! Even when picking out a date outfit to protect you from the cold, you still want to protect that loveable silhouette.

Most damning of all I'll say is Mahiru's parasite cover. The song tells a story about a scorned girlfriend who was used for sex and seeks alcohol in order to deal with her lingering feelings for ex-boyfriend. At one point Miku throws a bouquet back mirroring Mahiru's desire for a wedding.

(hmm funny how the "mahiru is a yandere because she covered psychogram" crowd was silent about this cover i wonder whyyyy)

Why can’t you understand? I hate you! Never touch me again

Wait a second, when did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine

It’s even worse when you are nice to me, But I don’t want to be given the cold shoulder [Most of all, Mahiru desires attention from her boyfriend. In her T1 MV she mentions how he "not the brightest so he never notices that I go to the beautician." This is a likely a blow to her self confidence given the heavy emphasis she has on appearing pretty. Sporadically across the magazines there's lines about "not slacking off" in public because people are always watching.]

Hey, give me back the time I used loving you, You liar. But I still love you

Hey, please don’t leave me behind, Hey, I’m hungry [This line always makes me so sad. In Mahiru's cover there's a beep to imply she's leaving this as a voice-mail for her boyfriend. Once again fulfilling our "stay with me always" clinging symbolism quota.]

Pretend not to see spitting out saliva, You're going to throw me away as incombustible waste

It’s just a bunch of “why”, I can’t change, I want to…I don’t want to leave

Hey, I want you to let me hug you at the last moment, thank you. And now, you are too (a parasite)

It's the last line I'd like to highlight because, all in one song, we've reinforced Mahiru's happiness in the relationship and the clinging symbolism. Mahiru and her boyfriend were both parasites who's clung onto eachother and deprived eachother of nutrients. Both of you suck!!

Then there's Mahiru's two symbolic locations: the birdcage and the carousel. Both of Mahiru's mindscapes places her in the same location: her home, as evident by the couches with pillows.

Personally, I subscribe to the idea the Day 16's house belong to Mahiru or it's a shared home with her boyfriend. If the poor financial situation theory is correct then the two might've decided to live together to cut costs (or Mahiru pressured him into agreeing). Her boyfriend works at a convenience store so he's probably not as financially well-off as Mahiru who recieves an allowance.

However, on a subconscious level, Mahiru thinks of her their home as a birdcage. As stated before, bluebirds can't survive in birdcages, and this is represented by her boyfriend's feathers falling from stress. Something interesting I'd like to note is that Mahiru considers leaving the birdcage but instead decides to dive back into the feathers, causing her boyfriend even more stress. Say with me: clinging 👏 until 👏 you 👏 suffocate 👏 imagery.

"Hmm... I’m a little troubled that I can’t go home, but... It’s fine, I guess. Even if I go home, there’s nothing left... And, I find it fun talking to you!"

Then, after her boyfriend's death, she thinks of their home as a carousel ride. The ledge at the beginning of the MV implies that—rather than an expansive space like Mu's beehive—the carousel is a small space. It's only Mahiru, the couch, the carousel, and a dead corspe. All she's able to do is fall asleep or ride the carousel again by herself, knowing she'll have to get off at some point. It's once again that imagery of something which is cramped and suffocating.

Both of her mindscapes cut them off from the outside world. Within her own mind all that matters is simply her and her boyfriend.

04. The Only You Can('t) Leave

Finally, I'd like to note something which has been sitting on my mind: Mahiru's themes of destiny and rebirth.

Q. What do you think happens when people die? Mahiru: They go to heaven!

Lovers committing double suicide believed that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between two lovers is continued into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through double suicide, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land.

(big credit to doctorbunny's and archivalofsins's work on the this is how to be inlove with you locations for pointing this out! ily2 please check them out)

On Day 8, Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to go see "Your Name." Take this with a grain salt because I haven't see the actual movie— I refuse to watch a Makoto Shinkai film until he's allowed to write yuri—but the general gist is that two teenagers from 2013 and 2016 end up swapping bodies. Later, it's revealed that Mitsuha, the main heroine, is fated to die from a comet hitting the earth in the future. Fortunately, through time shenanigans, her fate ends up being altered and both teens end up surviving.

A romance movie featuring a dead lover and a mid relationship? Why, it's perfect for Mahiru!

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmate or a destined partner.

Okay, okay, jokes aside that's not the sole reason I'm bringing up Your Name. Ofcourse, what's most interesting is it's theme of soulmates and how it relates to Mahiru.

Mahiru: Yeah. – Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too.

Q. How did you meet your lover? Mahiru: We met eyes at the university terrace. I really felt like it was fate.

On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?

I ran into the person I’m interested in at the bread shop. This has to be fate, right? In the end I ended up buying the same bread as he got, but maybe I don’t need this much… > < I wasn’t thinking about the calories.

We went to one of the filming locations for a movie we both like! This sort of thing can only happen in Tokyo huh! It really must be fate that even our taste in movies lines up. I feel like a totally different person to before I met him… [Once again the movie she's talking about Your Name which is one of the highest grossing anime films of all times... bestie... ily but your rose colored glasses are blinding!!!]

Namely, once again, we're reinforcing the theme of clinging together until you suffocate. Two soulmates forced into loving eachother by the hands of fate. It's a very romantic idea twisted into something heart-wrenching.

The idea of "saving your lover from death" is briefly reflected Day 8 where Mahiru gives her boyfriend a hangover cure from called Corspe Reviver. A bit on the nose, don't you think?

This sections dawdles a little bit from the whole Shinju Theory but it felt off if I didn't include it. Given Shidou's entire character revolves around killing in order to save his loved ones, I can almost imagine Mahiru's murder was to save her boyfriend as well. There's not much evidence but... it's certainly there, right?

05. Conclusion

Aha, this post kind of devolved from "heres my shinju theory" and moreso "wow, Mahiru has a lot of suffocation imagery" which is true. There's so much of it. I don't even think this is all of it!

Theres alot more I wanted to add but... I'm not good with writing long posts if you couldn't tell! If anyone would like to add onto this for me I'd be thrilled ❤️

[kaisollisto]

i made that first piece 11/10/23, it's been 10 months since then, huh that's a bit freaky. Still on my beatrice-needs-to-be-drawn-in-armor-shit.

[ahappydnp]

i know you love the whole 2009×2015 time travel thing but. we never talk about fics with that concept!! do you have any recs? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

ahh of course my mind is going completely blank rn when i know there's a bunch i've loved over the year 🥺 but ummmm i techinically did one (x) and not a year!crossover but one of my fav timeline crossover fics ever of dee meeting phil and fi meeting dan (x)

edit: WAIT HOW COULD I FORGET HARD TIMES BABY my beloved

[somedaytakethetime]

In true Nagelsmann fashion allow me to present to you: Denmark vs Germany (29.06.2024, Euros 2024) - The Lowlights Reel

*lines up to be sexy på dansk one last match*

*trips on children*

*talks but no one listens*

*legit gets called to chat about the weather*

*is given bad news, checks fit, braces*

*does the most, is rewarded the least*

*reflects the same emotions girlblogger had while watching this match*

*serves looks and chest*

*runs sexily and applauds fans that want him out of the club*

*considers pursuing German ancestry. or playing for England....*

[seiwas]

every time i think or speak abt hajime the words just flow out in an endless stream 😔

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

We all talk about the Miranda/Silver parallels, but I just rewatched 3x08 and it occurs to me that in the later seasons, there's kind of an Anne/Silver parallel as well: they're wildly different in terms of personality, but both their identities exist as an extension of another person — Anne says that when she tells someone her name, the first thing they say is Jack's; and by mid-season 3, the same is true of Long John Silver with Flint — and both are invested in Flint's war out of loyalty to the person/people they care about rather than its actual aims (Anne wants to free Jack but doesn't care about retrieving the chest of Spanish gold; Silver ends the war to keep Madi and possibly Flint, depending on your interpretation of the ending, alive). The difference is that Anne's loyalty to Jack is ultimately requited, whereas Madi and Flint both love Silver, but no amount of love is more important to them than their war.

[raepritewrites]

Anyone else a little lost in the sauce that is the 1.6 update, or is it just me? Like ConcernedApe, sir, how did this update start as qol and bug fixes??? There's so much omg 🫠🥹

[itoshi-s]

Zari! The lingerie post has me screaming. I’m just picturing the BLLK guys and it’s like 😖😖😖 Knowing Reo would 100% buy you whatever you wanted as long as he got to watch you model it in the changing room. Meanwhile Sae and Kaiser, money again would be no object, but would complain if you even TOUCHED anything less than designer. Only the best for you. With a side of Sae commenting that the first set you picked out looked like a garbage bag because it wasn’t some overly expensive designer set. Meanwhile - why is Rin and Barou so overly confident walking into the shop and then suddenly an embarrassed mess when they see you open the changing room door in any set you put on LOL.

YESSSSSS LEE U GOT IT SO RIGHT. reo leaves like five times worth of the clerks salary but it’s alr. u deserve nothing less !!!!! ( but also — leaves a tip . VERY generous one bc he’s a sweetheart. he’s so lovely i wanna munch on him ) 🥺

YES kaiser and sae both come off a lil mean 😭 lmaoooo but they literally cannot care any less. if you’re already there and he can afford the best designer pieces anyways,, then why settle for something mediocre @_@ also kaiser’s the type to smack your ass in the fitting rooms and you get SOOOOOO embarrassed bc everyone can hear loooool but he makes it up to u later 😋 while you’re wearing the newest prettiest set he just got u ofc !! mhm mhm ( also let’s u leash him so that he learns his lesson not to act up like this .. yeah ……. MMM)

sae goes the extra mile and prob makes a reservation to close down the store while you’re there lol he doesn’t want anyone coming in 😵‍💫

ALSO YEP .. YEP. barou especially he’s so flustered 😭 WHEN U TRY ON A PRETTY RED SET .. sighhhh he goes absoluuuteeelyyyyyy INSANE !!!!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 it matches his eyes and u picked this one on purpose and HE KNOWS IT !! when the clerk comes up to ask whether y’all need any help he gets sooooo embarrassed lol cause where’s that ego n confidence now HUH ???? he looks so lovesick n all putty sitting on the loveseat it’s insane 😭 u got that man 1000% whipped

[avalonships]

Do they match eachothers freak

[the-insanity-of-mojiru]

Thumbnail art for covers I’m too embarrassed to release

[skade32]

Do I deserve to be happy?

— — —

(a discovery I made about myself which in turn lead to a discovery about society’s obsession with a martyr-complex)

^^^ a study I did on my my own baby photos (I tried my best guys I’m being so fr I can’t draw kids)^^^

One thing I’ve noticed recently is that I look rather young for my age. Now granted, I still AM young but as I’m reaching the point of adulthood I’m starting to notice how I’m not losing the same features my peers have long grown out of— my round cheeks, my feathery soft baby hair that has yet to lose its youthful pallor, my stature, my flexibility, etc. all things I’m used to and have accepted as a part of who I am— and shockingly I also noticed that in no way am I insecure about the way I look. I chose to be positive about it and grateful for the little things that make me who I am. Just how the converse traits like looking older with scruffy beards, course salt and pepper hair and twinkling eyes are also positive traits.

As I’ve mentioned my transition into adulthood, I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and realizing I don’t know a lot about myself and this is one of the things I have recently realized and I really feel the need to express it because I’m excited to have a piece of the puzzle that is me and I really want to share it with the world but I’ve found that there often isn’t a positive connotation to how people view themselves.

Especially online when people write a self-reflective post, usually exhibiting traits of self-depreciation and such a viewpoint skews the frame of mind of the reader to the point where a simple observation such as my own taking a positive or even a neutral place in my self-esteem seems overtly narcissistic.

I’m kinda just ranting into the void at this point but I’ve just been thinking about this idea for some time and I think I need to get it out into the world so I can finally relax and let it go, knowing my revelations will not be lost to the chaos that is my mind.

Recognizing that I have a youthful appearance, and that I don’t necessarily despise that trait initially made me feel strange and insecure about my own confidence which is truly ironic. Something tells me that my experience with the oxymoronic attitude is unfortunately more universal than not. And it’s made me think about the implications behind the way that we as a society have chosen to assign negativity towards things like confidence and self-respect despite the hollow encouragements of posters and self help books adorning our guidance counselors’ offices.

Are we so corrupted that we starve ourselves of love and affection just to savor the idea that we deserve such things?

Is it possible that we have been unintentionally feeding each other’s anxieties and insecurities by projecting our own into the world? Have we unintentionally harmed those around us in an attempt to stave off the feelings of selfishness that haunt us every night? Do we crave so deeply to be needed, to be wanted, that we present ourselves as a thing that we despise despite not necessarily believing the things we say about ourselves? Do we simply say them because we don’t want to address the fact that we don’t beleive them? Are we all just trying to diminish ourselves every day because we can’t stand the idea that we might actually like ourselves, because we’ve been conditioned to think that anything positive is a selfish and undeserved benefit only fit for a person who is so humble and self-sacrificing that they would never accept such an idea anyway?

Do we earn the right to deserve love? Even if it diminishes the ability to experience love in the first place?